Castle of the Dark Knight
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in the "Matthew Kendora" journal:[<< Previous 20 entries]
10:40 pm
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Did you miss me?
In case anyone actually noticed... I've been off-line for the most part the last 48 hours. My lovely little 600W power supply couldn't handle the strain of my 8800GTS anymore and died. Worst part is that it happened just after I flashed my BIOS to correct issues that are 99.9% likely to be PSU-induced, so I'm not getting the absolute best RAM performance... maybe. Seems like the settings are OK, but I've lost my overclock options. Until I can make a USB boot drive or something, and flash this bugger back a few revisions. Anyone got some tips on that?
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07:19 am
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Another one bites the dust? After way too long spent hammering out issues, I finished my newest chapter. It's called "Forsaken Home", and should provide some nice insights into some aspects I never covered before.
There are at least two main problems.
First, the story is a very rough draft. The story is considered complete, but it's not a given that it flows well, makes sense read straight through, or generally doesn't suck as written.
The second problem is that it was slated to run maybe as long as 10,000 words. It's more than 50% larger. When I revise stories, they tend to grow, not shrink, which makes this chapter absurdly prone to topping 20k. That's probably NOT acceptable.
Since departing certain communities, I've lost a lot of feedback I used to get, which is severely cramping the rate at which I can revision stories to polish them. It can't be helped, but it does hurt my progress. Regular feedback means I have all kinds of issues I can just address whenever I have no ideas ready. I used to be able to revision a story more than once a week. It didn't necessarily do the heavy lifting that Gogo and Irilaine do for me, let alone the times I just go "I want to redo this whole chapter", which almost always ends (but doesn't always begin) with a consensus that the final result is much better.
So I'm basically looking for suggestions as to how I should approach taming this beast. I need a system to work from to make sure I can handle the polishing (or train someone else to handle the reading side).
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05:03 am
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Life update
Ok, So Obama wins. It doesn't matter to me because of the choice I had:
One candidate who I can trust to do what he says and one I refuse to trust to do what he says. My dad's the only one who understood what I meant by this. My mom still can't figure it out :)
Give me a moment to be very serious here, and open, and possibly offensive.
The primary hope/dream/wish I have for an Obama administration is that it will result in a scenario where race isn't a day-to-day issue anymore. Where we really are judging people by character and not skin color. I don't think Obama is the man to do this, because I don't believe one man can do it. But if he can, or if he can even start it...
If people want my full opinion, I'll say more, but in general, it's the one thing I hope Barack Obama can mange, and the one thing I'd bet money he can't accomplish by any means.
I'm looking for a good salesman. I have a proposal that would generate substantial development in conventional and non-conventional engine technologies and improve America's dependance on foreign oil. My estimated price tag is less than $1 billion (I could probably accomplish everything I need for half of that). The best part is that I don't even need to know what I'm doing (much). I don't need to find the brightest and best people, nor choose what constitutes a worthy angle to develop. I just need to get the right people on-board starting with the US Government (for the $500 million I'd need). The important calculation to make is how much of an improvement in fuel economy would it take at *current* gas prices to save the American taxpayers the money they'd be being asked to give me. Most of the brightest engineers would flock to the project, as would massive amounts of capital. Anyone interested in helping me craft the proposal? :)
I'm still working on new chapters. They're nowhere near ready, but on the other hand, super reader Iriliane gave "Eyes of Fire" a great review. For reference, that's the newest chapter to my ongoing storyline. If you haven't read a chapter, though, it's a bad place to start :)
I got a "promotion". My job sucks even worse now.
My tooth is cracked in half and cemented together for about 7 days at a time. Friday is "get insurance issues straightened out" day, and sick time might be involved in getting it fixed (though aside from my dad, I'm the person I'd bet on working an afternoon shift after major dental work).
I still need a girl I can really, really trust. Not to date/screw/whatever. Just because I'm a total guy, and I don't know how to write a girl's heart. But the ones I work with would all laugh at me, so...
I've been playing Oblivion. That explains three months of absence. If you play on the PC without the mod "Marksman Velocity", you're either using another archery mod, or you're just plain stupid :) All it does is scale velocity to quality. So Iron arrows are still more like artillery than sniping, while Daedric Arrows fly nearly level. Mind you, gravity identical for both...
I upgraded to 8 GB of RAM. Oblivion *likes* it. (I've always been using a 64-bit OS)
The SPC7110 is cracked, which closes that book...
Anything I've missed?
Special joke of the day: Supervisor said I got the 2 pack of condoms as my personal supply, while he needed the bulk economy pack. I pointed out that my supply was probably good for 40 to 50 years :D
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04:54 am
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A puzzle to be solved... Europe, thy name is Miranda
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06:46 am
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The road to recovery...
About three days ago, I found the critical missing item. I'd managed to leave it sitting on my dad's toolbox, where apparently neither of us noticed it.
Now, all of my jeans are shot (my now-broken name badge for work ripped out the left pockets), and the weather just turned cold, so shorts are out for the near future (and all I can say is "asdf"). But that can be remedied with money, which I have. Still missing an item or two, but those are non-critical.
Danica wins, then Ashley Force. (well, Will Power and Dan Wheldon win in between, but that's all in like 8 days). Good year for non-NASCAR racing. Trust me, if you've never seen the IRL race before, try a few races (they can't ALL be great, but the bad ones are still better than last year, and the good ones? who knows? Those are mostly post-Indy).
Started a new chapter called "Forsaken Home". It's coming along slowly, but it provide some context for Annalisa. She's really one hell of a girl, but she's so opposite Kendell in personality that people often think she's a sissy. Not the case at all. She's just not arrogant, violent, sarcastic, and confrontational. If she was, she'd be Kendell with breasts. Ummm, no thanks. I have at least three women who are aggressive. Torndraq, Denzent, and Karina are all more "Kendell with boobs" than Annalisa should ever be. (in fact, they overlap a little, but Torndraq is violent, Denzent sarcastic and confrontational, and Karina arrogant). Annalisa is supposed to be a sweetheart. One with plenty of steel to her, but essentially, the kind of girl you can't help but be friends with. So I hope the new chapter really shows my readers just what she is really made of. She never will compare to Kendell, if you want an avatar of destruction. He is ideally suited for it. She's ideally suited for, well, you'll have to see. It's not the path she's on, which is exactly the way it should be. I've probably said too much...
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05:29 am
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5 weeks later...
First, I'm totally stressed about a bunch of crap that's gone missing. No idea when or if I'll find some of it, which is bad. real bad.
Second, I've broken a lot of stuff in strange ways and will need a week or so to get it fixed, and a month to replace the worst of it. Yay unplanned for expenses.
Third, Graham Rahal managed to win the second IRL race of the season, in what's turning out to be a much improved series (which says a lot, since the IRL has put on good shows for some time now). If NASCAR doesn't have enough racing for you, try IndyCar.
I finished all of my rewrite efforts, and I'm just waiting for people to help sort through the mess of chapters with fresher eyes than mine...
I'm sure more has gone on, but until some of my absent items reappear, I probably will stay too scatterbrained to recall them...
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04:29 am
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random thoughts...
So CHamp Car is dead. Could there be anything better for the unified IRL than to have: - Paul Tracy get into it with someone at Homestead, including a little fisticuffs? Kanaan or Dixon would be "best", publicity-wise... - Graham Rahal and Marco Andretti in a serious dogfight all race long - Danica and Helio shooting it out for the win. - a Michigan International Speedway 500-miler in Late July, with a major sponsorship package
Raymond E. Feist does it again. Into A Dark Realm totally blew me away. There are something like five or six plot threads going at all times, with less than that number of character groupings. Valko's thread is the most awesome. I can sell a protagonist who is, by most standards, quite insane just fine. That's easy to imagine. I can sell the idea that a city is defended by beams of concentrated light and steel swords at the same time, because while it doesn't make sense from our perspective, it's not too difficult to imagine that it could have happened in another world/universe/whatever. However, the idea I have always heard laughed at as impossible to imagine is "evil as a concious choice" and stuff. Trust me, Feist can sell you on it. Valko's thread? AMAZING writing. Not necessarily as a technical exercise (because I'd almost certainly fail those standards), but in the sense of he makes one of the concepts most widely ridiculed in my literary circle not only imaginable, but vividly plausible.
Good luck to Sarah Fisher on her new Indy team. She'll need it with the recent merger. However, she's got enough talent for the car. May her team find enough talent for the driver.
Thanks to kuroichi, who has been mowing through the backlog of chapters, and swears that once he's through the initial experience, he'll go through and make critical notes. I eagerly await his results, because there's a lot of "untested" material there.
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04:22 am
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136264 and counting
That's not even the full story. As you can see, the prologue and first section of my story are rather involved. Heck, to get the writing up another two notches, you can probably add 15% to that word count and be a tad low.
I'm actually looking for a sort of headliner quote for this section, which deals with my substantially broken protagonist and another major character. I already have an idea what I would preface the whole book with, and everyone agrees that it's suitable, but I'd like something that captures a bit of the dynamic that leads to the final scene of this segment of the story.
Unfortunately, my proofreading squad has had a busy month, and I don't want to burden my special forces for trivial matters of consistancy, basic typos and grammar, etc. I'm something like 47332 words behind on making sure the writing is "decent", let alone quality...
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02:40 am
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I hate retail
Imagine this situation: It's the middle of winter, and your winter jacket suddenly and without warning fails to zip properly.
Just go to the store and buy a new one, right?
SUCKER!
The dolts in retail already have their craptastic winter coats on clearance, which means "you can't find one in your size". There's like two styles, usually the "I want to look cool if I go back in time" style, and the "I HATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATE anything that might remind me of the idea of cold." style. I really don't need a jacket an inch thick. Or one that makes it look like I'm going out on the town in 1997. I just need a realtively thin jacket that keeps my body heat in, the wind out, and is actually made with the expectation that it will be used for work. That shouldn't be too hard to find. I'm not asking for a spandex jacket that insulates like a triple down coat. I don't want anything that insulates like a triple down coat. I want something that insulates like a jacket that anticipates you sweating in it at -2 degrees, and understands that a buttload of insulation is going to get very uncomfortable very quick.
Nope, the damn retail bastards are having none of that. Gotta play to the big spending niche, rather than the people who buy what they actually need, I guess. Needless to say, I'm now looking for the niche players in the jacket game, the ones who actually, you know, are either in-season, or all seasons. I'm sick of this "next season" crap.
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03:47 am
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Random stuff...
They changed the way we work at work. I won't say it's a bad change, just that the current implementation is worse than bad. Given time, they probably can make it better than it is. The question is whether that will or won't happen.
So I went and got an LCD monitor shipped to me. Went from a 17" Dell flat-screen CRT to a 20.1" Samsung. Both do 1600x1200 top-end, but the Dell's too blurry to read, while the HDMI-driven Samsung is clear... and HUGE. Oh, and it uses less power than my light fixture.
My mp3 player is just about dead after many, many road trips. It's no longer perfectly reading CDs that burn fine (and play in my mom's DVD player). So I wan a new player. Thing is that it's hard to find the kind of reviews I need to actually pick out what I need. It's really hard to finish a review that spends a page talking about how the player looks. I can honestly say that that would NEVER be a primary purchasing decision-maker for me when it comes to audio devices. That would be like selecting a lawnmower based on how well it can be used as a skateboard. No matter how true the opinion, there's simply no substantial relevance.
What I'm looking for is: Capacity of 4 GB or more Durable shell, because it will wind up hitting something Low PC-side software requirements (the less the better, because I said so) standalone charging (because I don't always have a PC or a car to use) field-replacable battery (if I can build a PC, I can damn sure change a battery) if possible, two features of my old player: headphone jack remote and a main control lock-out switch. If you don't know what either are, I'll explain.
I finished another chapter of writing after a really long time. The title is "Lead Us Into Temptation", and it throws at least one unexpected curve at you. My content-consistancy checking guy said there's some excellent lines of dialogue in there, too...
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06:11 am
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Victory is MINE! After who the hell KNOWS how many years, I finally managed to beat Septerra COre (on my third attempt to go through the game, each one on a different PC, no less).
I must say that while the ending is a bit too New Age for me, it's actually quite a piece of writing. Hell, that's why I loved the game so much. It's things like Corgan and Robin arguing religion, Araym and Robin discussing (literally) whose ass the bounty hunters chase, Maya admonishing Araym about what is and is not a business, and Led calling Oasis a junk heap, and then admitting that's why she loves it that make the game so entertaining. It's not usually that you HAVE to go revisit places with different people, but that you wonder what kind of interaction a different character will have with each NPC...
So, anyway, it's a damn good ending, because it uses earlier plot points to bring about the totally unexpected.
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05:02 am
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I limp AGAIN! My ankle has recovered sufficiently for me to not need my ankle brace some days. I wear it all the time I'm off work anymore, though. Still limp a fair amount of the time, but we're in the calm before the storm, and I've got help at work finally, so I'm recovering.
Still no major progress on my projects, except for a nice bit of effort on Lead Us Into Temptation, which is a pivotal chapter in Kendell's life. It's shaping up nicely, in that I have exactly three segments to write, I know what they all are, and how they'll progress. In theory, I should be able to knock them out in no time once I get up the willpower ot write the first paragraph of the next segment.
After I get this one into the "Readable" stage, I want to start work on my DX10, 64-bit game. It's kind of an early adopter type of project: to reward the people on the edge.
The anime Claymore is amazing me every week, as they continually avoid the easy way out of situations, choosing suitable resolutions over shounen typicals. Plus, Clare looks so graceful when she counterattacks by sheer Yoki-sense. It's a real contrast to how she fights the rest of the time, where she's a loose cannon (claymore?) and uses muscle rather than finesse to polish off her foes (or slip up and let them slap her through walls).
Another Tsubasa Chronicle DVD is in the mail, which means the first truly emotional scene in the series will hit soon, and we get to see how empty Sakura's head is without her life filling it...
Got Aquarian Age and Noir. The Former is just different. The latter... I didn't like the end, because poor little Kirika didn't get exactly what I wished for her.
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04:00 am
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Break Down
It's finally happened. Work has managed to seriously injure me, but true to the unwritten, unspoken code, I still go in and bust my (greatly reduced in size) butt.
The good news is I can finally somewhat walk barefoot again, after months of needing shoes to get out of my room. The bad news is that I'm capable because I had to purchase an ankle brace. It's not fun trying to do the job of 2-3 veterans at my position. We have PEOPLE now, but they outnumber me. Makes it really hard to train them, because I have to curb three or so wild impulses to mess up, rather than having two people to curb a single impulse to mess up the system. At least tomorrow, I should be able to run around less and get some relief.
Tsubasa Chronicle came out on DVD (in part), so I'm excited. Thuggy says it is too romantic, and my mom doesn't think it romantic at all... I'll tend to agree with Thuggy moreso. What the hell is more romantic than a guy willing to sacrifice everything he values for the girl he loves? Now, *too* romantic? not in the least, it's just romance done right. I'm fairly sure that Thuggy will concede that it's one of the better done ones.
Let's not get me started on that, though.
In other news, Irilaine on IRC has recently read all of my somewhat polished chapters and given me good marks for the most part on my writing. Nice, but I need someone to push me a little on it, or I'll never get going with new chapters. I'd love to finish the Kendell-Annalisa segment of the plot, because then I can start to explain why Kendell's a nutjob. It's not possible without ruining the whole experience until after the Annalisa problem is dealt with. The really fun part is that I have great lines in store for the second and third segments. The fourth segment is the hardest, and I'm not entirely sure I should do it. It's something like "it requires me to let someone grow in ways I can't be sure I can write."
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04:54 am
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general update
New computer still has some stability issues to work out, but it generally performs well, especially considering it's running on non-native drivers for now.
I've got a few projects boiling in my head, but I never seem to have the time to do anything. I probably need to start telling people no more when they want something. I've had 2 days off, and haven't done much for myself.
My shoulder is shot. I hurt the rotator cuff over the weekend at work, 2 days off haven't helped much.
My mouth is in worse shape: I need to see a dentist badly, for a tooth I broke ages ago. Fortunately, a bottle of water is enough to keep me pain-free most of the time.
I have a short story idea brewing in my head, too. Like I'll write that anytime soon, though....
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03:51 pm
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So, the Kendora is an idiot. Took me 4 tries to remember which password I used here. Sad thing is that it happened to be one I use a lot, but for some reason, thought I didn't use...
anyway, yay Core 2. the CPU temp drops back to the 32-33 C range like instantly when it lessens its load.
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03:21 am
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It lives! Core 2 has blue screened twice, but that was before I fixed the memory voltages (some stuff was really over-volted) and installed the new drivers. It's been rock solid since, except for once where it went into suspend mode when I wanted a shut down. down freaks who actually like to suspend to disk. sheesh.
So.... Vista... the resource hog... uses a grand 3% of my CPU. My exhaust temp is about... 1 degree above room temp :)
That said, I won't win any awards for looks. It's a FULL TOWER. and I can see right through it across the motherboard. Runs cool, though :)
Current Mood: ecstatic
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10:54 pm
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The final specs Everything for the new PC is ordered, and except for 4 items I just ordered, it'll all be here in time for a Tuesday build.
Now I'm sure that collectively, all of my decisions will have someone disagreeing with them. Oh well. I can't follow everyone's advice, and just because advice is sound doesn't mean it suits my ultimate needs. So, anyway...
The 680-based Asus SLI motherboard (not the Striker Extreme) Intel Core 2 Duo E6700 2 GB of Corsair DDR2-800 RAM 320 GB SATA Seagate 7200.10 hard drive 20x LiteOn SATA burner EVGA overclocked 640 MB GeForce 8800GTS X-Fi Fatal1ty Pro XtremeGamer sound card Vista 64-bit Office 2k7 600W power supply 1 HUGE full tower case
additionally, I've got an MS ergo keyboard coming, not the split designs that I loathe, and an Intellimouse optical, and a new Logitech PS2 Dual Shock clone game pad, and a Logitech headset that was really cheap.
Everything will be new except the monitor :)
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06:00 am
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Let Freedom Ring (up on the cash register?)
Just a thought: how far would you go to remove the worst dictators from power?
For some people, the answer is "Never to war". While I personally disagree, let's look at it another way.
How much would you pay to buy out the North Korean government? To officially have them surrender to South Korea and reuinify that nation?
Would you pay Kim Jong Il $100 million? Could you let him come to Hollywood? Bankroll a few movies for him? Would you grant him immunity for his past? give him a no-extradition clause, so he couldn't be tried elsewhere for his rule?
How much are you willing to pay for the freedom of every single North Korean?
What if it was, say Cuba? How much would you pay Castro to allow a fair, open national election for his successor, and if he allowed people who feld to return and run? Assuming, of course, it was a genuine offer?
Is the truth that many are not willing to pay for the freedom of others, either with blood or with currency?
If the Mad Mullahs in Iran offered to leave the country for a tropical pacific island... for $1 trillion over 20 years, would you advise the President to accept?
Think carefully. What is the price of freedom? How much is it worth?
If the thugs running kleptocracy in Africa was willing to pick up and leave, clearing the way for a far more open, less corrupt government, what price would you pay?
I fear the truth is that we in the United States are too often unwilling to pay any price for freedom, because we're so hypersensitive about nonsense "threats" to our own that we simply have nothing left to care about anyone else.
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03:15 am
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Plus and Minus A plus to TRAC of SNEeSe fame, for being sane dissent on my computer plans. He didn't change my mind on anything, but it was refreshing to hear logic instead of superstition for a change.
A minus to damn near everyone else for the exact opposite. FUD, hearsay, and flat out idiocy are waaaaay to common. Seriously, what kind of sane person hears "I've blown 90% of the drives from Manufacturer A" and turns around and recommends using Manufacturer A's drives? Yet... they do.
A Plus to Lakmir, just because he makes fun games understandable.
A Minus to Lakmir. Slacker rushed me to do a tool on my day off, and hasn't used it a month later.
A Plus to Iriliane for being my first new proofreader in ages.
A minus to Microsoft for 32-bit only Office 2007. Seriously, guys. Why offer a 64-bit OS if you're not going to reward adopters? I'm annoyed with you and all, but it does mean you're admitting that my Core 2 Duo will be here in time for me to offer an early 64-bit game toolkit. Thanks for validating my plan. Maybe someday when I finish it and get customers and am making a living doing programming again, we can even have a chat, kick some ideas around, and see what we both like. For now, though, understand that if there's a 64-bit Office in less than 3 years and there's not some kind of special deal for those of us who wanted 64-bit NOW, I will be hurt. You'd be punishing the very people trying to shift the market for you, and that's just not nice.
A plus to the Islanders for taking advantage of a last chance. When you are handed something you can do to control your destiny, that's what you need to do. Didn't see the game, but it's an awesome win anyway.
A minus to myself for wasting Easter looking at parts for a new PC when I'm not yet funded to buy it.
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03:30 pm
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Plan B Ok, so that MP3 player idea? I can't seem to commit to doing it.
On the other hand, less immediately, I *can* commit to getting a Core 2 Duo this summer. Serious and viable suggestions are welcome, but don't nag my choice in processor. (Right now, it's looking like an E6600, when I have money, it might be a faster model)
The basic expectations are that I'll probably wind up with:
an E6600 Core 2 Duo 4 GB of RAM a cheap nVidia PCI Express video card, since I don't 3D game much. possibly a one of those 7.1 Creative Labs audio boards a Sony DVD burner 300 GB SATA hard drive 680W power supply new mid-tower case
Somehow, it's cheaper to get the CPU and motherboard together...
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